Well, it has been almost a year since I left my job at the Department of Commerce, and I have to say, this is not where I thought I would be. I took the leap, got out of a job that had taught me a lot but also created un-abating frustrations, and did something that I had always wanted to do but never had the courage to do - run off to China and learn Mandarin. My experience in Beijing was unique, I learned a lot, and it only reinforced my love of China and my interest in continuing to be a part of the extraordinary development happening there.
At first, I did not think that much about what would be next, in that I decided to take the next logical step and look for a job in China using what I already knew and the skills I already had. That first leap, largely due to the current economic woes, while teasingly close to getting me what I wanted, fell apart at the last minute in April. What I had been working towards, however, lacked forethought and personal discovery of exactly what I wanted to do with my life, and what I wanted my life to mean.
Since April I have been spending a lot of time in self-discovery, as I find job postings that would have excited me a year ago merely ok. I've seen friends get married, attended a college reunion, and met a bunch of new friends. I have done some volunteer work for the Obama campaign, spent a lot of time exploring my creative side in the kitchen, and generally re-evaluating my life. The conclusion I have come to is that I am tired of the easy path I chose for myself. I want to do something meaningful, important, and most importantly help people.
As a first step, I decided to get off my tired rear end and DO something, which is why I signed up to help raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society while
training for a 109-mile bike ride. Fundraising is nothing I have ever done before, but I find it incredibly rewarding to see each individual donation appear
here.
But still the larger question is how to take my past experiences and roll them into a longer-term life experience. In my time in China I have seen some horrible things, from labor conditions, to living quarters, to thick films on rivers and lakes, to toxic hazes over cities. My own experiences in Beijing left my lungs feeling like I had been a pack-a-day smoker my whole life. I have met some incredible people in my time in China, and I wonder why they should have to live in that kind of environment, and feel bad that I have not done more to help over the years.
The problem is, right now, I feel like I lack the knowledge to meaningfully contribute to helping businesses bring environmental technologies to China and work with the government to get them executed. So I am thinking of going back to school to merge my business and government experience with study of emerging environmental technologies. Who knows if this is the right decision, but at least I will be moving towards bringing a better life to the myriad people I have met over the years. But for now, I will be spending the next month studying for the GMAT (standardized tests...the bane of my existence), and deciding what schools would best serve the purpose I have chosen...
I would love to hear from friends and family about life-changing decisions you made, and how you knew what you were doing was the right decision.
